Are you a Straddle Parent too?

What it's really like to have a toddler AND a teenager...

Straddle parenting, as I like to call it (seriously, we really need a better term), can be quite the challenge. It's that unique phase of parenting where you find yourself juggling the needs of a teenager and a toddler simultaneously. And let me tell you, it's no walk in the park. Understatement. It’s fucking hideous.

If we take a moment to compare teens and toddlers, we might notice some surprising similarities. First and foremost, their insatiable hunger. Whether it's a ravenous toddler demanding snacks every few minutes or a perpetually hungry teenager raiding the fridge at all hours, you can bet that food is a constant request in both cases. RIP to my food budget.

Emotional regulation is another shared trait. Toddlers have meltdowns over seemingly trivial matters, and teenagers are known for their rollercoaster of emotions. It's like navigating a minefield of mood swings and outbursts, trying to provide comfort and guidance while also giving them the space they need and trying not to scream back at them.

But here's the thing – with toddlers, I've got this. I've been through it before, and I've learned the ropes. It's like training a dog (no offence intended to dogs). Once you've figured out how to handle the tantrums, the messes, and the endless energy, you gain a certain level of confidence. You know what works and what doesn't. At least most of the time.

Teens, on the other hand, present an entirely different challenge. All the aforementioned difficulties are amplified, and as a parent, I often find myself feeling like I'm stumbling in the dark. The stakes feel higher because the decisions they make can have more significant consequences. Like when they take Ketamine and fall asleep in a bush. Ahem. It's a delicate balance between offering guidance (“don’t fucking do that again”) and allowing them to make their own choices, all while praying that they turn out okay.

Sure, a toddler might put random objects in their mouth, but I can swiftly remove them (well, most of the time), and I can childproof the environment to minimise the risk. But with teenagers, you have no control over what they choose to put in their mouths (let's just leave it at that). It's a whole new level of worry and vigilance. And the lies? Well let’s not even bother unpacking that one. If you assume that 90% of what your teenager says is embellished or untrue, you’d be foolish because it’s actually 100%.

Then there's the opposite hours syndrome. One minute you're up all night with a sleepless toddler who needs your constant attention, and the next minute you're driving around at all hours, playing the role of a taxi service for your teenager. It's a never-ending cycle of catering to their needs, whether it's the late-night conversations or the early morning cuddles. Or in my case, both.

I must say though, that, straddle parenting, as exhausting and challenging as it may be, also brings its own rewards. It's a unique opportunity to witness the incredible growth and development of two individuals at opposite ends of the childhood spectrum. When you see your teen growing into the adult they will become, the trials of toddlerhood seem relatively petty. This is because you have lived through the “it’s a phase” thing so many times that you know it is true. This too will pass and quickly. Also, watching your biggest and littlest interacting is a joy. A joy that will make you feel old AF, but a joy nonetheless.

And perhaps most importantly, it's a reminder that parenting, regardless of the stage, is never easy. We're all just doing the best we can, figuring it out as we go along, and hoping that is enough. Having a third child doesn’t make me good at in anything in particular (aside from not using contraception - I’m good at that). So, here's to all the straddle parents out there – you're doing an amazing job, even if it feels like you're straddling a wild rollercoaster most of the time.

I was going to end with a peppy“keep going!” but there’s not much choice is there. That’s just what we do.

If you are a straddle parent or a parent of teens, tell me what you are winning and losing at currently in the comments. I need to know I’m not the only one!